There is this great new Alicia Keys song „Gramercy Park”, that I’ve been listening to on repeat. The chorus goes like this:
“Cause I’ve been trying to be everything I think you want me to be I’ve been doing all the things that I think you wanna see I’ve been trying to fulfill you with your every need Now you’re falling for a person that’s not even me”
This hit home.
You know when you meet a person and think everything about them is just so “cool”? You automatically start trying to figure out how you could manage to be just like that. How you adapt your style of clothing and your hobbies, the things you share and places you go. It starts off as genuinely thinking that you’re just discovering something new, but soon enough you go from “oh that’s so cool” to “I have to be this cool”. It becomes the only right way of being, because everything else all of a sudden is not good enough. You, the you you thought you were before meeting this super cool and awesome person, becomes not good enough. Then here we are, changing and switching, denying and reinventing every little detail about ourselves to fit into the “cool-box”.
Well, this doesn’t just happen in romantic relationships. This can happen with that new great job, a work setting, or the super awesome group of friends. It can be the TV-series you saw last week, you know, the really inspiring one. How about the new city you moved to, where everyone and everything seems so effortless? Right, all these outside circumstances can make us feel Gramercy Park-like.
Try and stop for a moment. What is it that you enjoy? Without anyone else, imagine a world where whatever you choose to be, you’d be the coolest person around – what would you choose? What would you wear? What hobbies would you have? What would you eat? Where would you go? What would be your passion? What would be you?
Now guess what, this imaginary world isn’t all that imaginary. To be honest, it’s this very world, right here, just with a little more distractions. We can choose our own “cool” every day. So, make it count. But make it count just for you.