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Imperfection

This morning I was on my way to a business yoga class and while I was in a good mood, my thoughts were still going a thousand miles per hour. I thought about my sequence for the class, what I was gonna wear tonight, all the thing I had to do before I could start the weekend and just life in general (as you do, while driving a car). Then I drove onto the highway and had one of those reality-check-moments. I immediately took out my phone and started to record this voice note for myself:

“I love not having my shit together. I right now saw this girl driving in her mini cooper on the highway and both of her windows are rolled down, her hair is in a very messy bun and it’s curled and like, everywhere. She wears these huge sunglasses, no makeup, you can see some of her blemishes and the redness of her skin. Like, nothing about this moment seems perfect and then the radio is really loud and she’s singing and laughing and she’s kinda like dancing in her driver’s seat. It made me think that she seems like she doesn’t have her shit together at all and it got me thinking how I got rid of all my expectations and my perfectionism and everything and now I’m in this phase where everything seems to not go as planned and everything seems to be so much and I have so much, like so much to do, I don’t even know where to begin, but then.. I see this girl and she’s living her life. And she’s like, she made me smile. Right now. I’m smiling like, from one cheek to the other. This moment of watching her gave me life. I remember what I want and what I wanna feel and how I wanna live my life. I don’t want to have my shit together. I don’t want a perfect life. I want a real life. And I want a fun life. And something that I’m proud of and something that’s mine. Like, the crazy, messy, imperfect Pari. Not the polished, makeup, perfect clothes, everything in order kind of Pari. I wanna be me. I wanna be the raw me. And I like not having my shit together. I feel so free right now, realizing how much I like not having my shit together. God, I love life. I never wanna lose this feeling alive. You feel most alive when not everything goes to plan and not everything is perfect and I’m just so glad that I saw this girl, in her mini cooper, windows rolled down, messy bun, huge sunglasses, no makeup, I’m so glad I saw her. And for a split second she looked over and I smiled and she kinda smiled and it’s like… This is such a great moment. I love it. I’m so glad, I’m so grateful for this moment, that I got to watch this girl have fun and remind me to just have fun. God, life is about having fun, not making everything perfect. Not getting everything right. Life is about having fun. Enjoying the ride. My reminder of the day is: Be imperfect. Don’t have your shit together. Roll your windows down. Throw your hair in a messy bun. Put on huge sunglasses and sing. Shout from the top of your lungs, to your favorite song, while driving somewhere.”

What a beautiful impact such a small moment can have.
Fuck perfection.
Pari

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