What a week.
We all have those, right? Those weeks, those days, maybe even those months, where everything seems to be so difficult. I’ve had one of those, or should I rather say: I’m having one of those. So many things happened, that I needed time to process. On top of that, I had to make a decision, that seems like one of the „super huge, life changing“-decisions. Man, freaking out is so easy sometimes. Letting your mind get foggy is so easy sometimes. Feeling the urge to crawl under a rock and never face reality ever again, is way too easy sometimes. This is what I’ve felt like this past week.
Then with all the mental debating, doubts come up. About pretty much everything. I fall back into old habits, old thinking patterns and would rather work a 9-5 job, dress in black and white, never open up my heart, blend in with everyone else and just never take a risk anymore.
Life is easy, when you’re playing it safe. You always know what to expect, no surprises, no fears. But also, no excitement and no miracles. Is „easy“ really the end-goal? Easy isn’t beauty-ful, easy isn’t wonder-ful, easy is just that – easy.
On the good days, I don’t eve think about easy. I take the risks and deal with whatever comes up, I’ve learned to push the belittling voice inside my head aside.
On the not so good days, I’m so scared. Fear is the most negative emotion. I know, shocker, it’s not hate. The root of hate is always fear. Those days, I feel overwhelmed by what could happen and end up not wanting to do anything, being too afraid of all the worst-case-scenarios.
This week, being „one of those weeks“, I felt more fear than I have in a long time. Not to say it isn’t a valid, legit emotion, that just came up irrationally – no, it popped up for a reason. Everything is always a lesson. This weeks my lesson is:
Act out of love, not fear.
Love can be scary. Love can be overwhelming. Love can be difficult. But it doesn’t have to be. For me, holding onto the „what ifs“ never ends well. Take the jump. Don’t count to three and kick start the thinking-train. Just dare to do it, straight away.
Truth be told: I’m still shitting my pants about the decision I had to make. But I consciously chose to choose love. And for that, I’m hella proud of myself.
The funny thing is, this week I focused on heart-opening-poses in my yoga classes. How’s that for synchronicity?